I watched a couple videos on Satan today and one of them touched on the fact that the enemy hates when you figure out your purpose and use your talents and it has me thinking. I thought I was going to teach you all information about the enemy but what God wanted me to get was about me. God gave me many talents and i’ve used them all and have had successes. I love putting my talents to work. I’ve shared every talent I possess.
Not too long ago, I thought my existence was done. I felt like God gave me everything I NEEDED and more. I wasn’t focused on attaining anything else. I didn’t feel the need to collect money and possessions and those desires had disppeared with awareness. I was bored. I had nothing left to achieve or anything I desired to do. I was wasting days, just getting up eating and waiting for bedtime to do it all again the next day. That seemed pointless and a waste of existence. I was depressed and the news and internet made it worse. People deplored me with thier behavior. I saw the racism. I saw the killings. I saw the white privelege. Evryday. In my face. I didn’t want to expeirence that everywhere I turned. I lost trust of people. The devil was busy then and is still ruining lives as we speak. What could I do? How could I make an impact? I had no answers so wished for death everyday with the intention of going to Heaven early. I hadn’t recognized God’s plan for me. I didn’t fit into anyone’s problems and building businesses was exhausting with no thrills.
I wanted and worked hard to be a millionairess and fell short. I gave up. But the more that I thought about it, I would have garnered problems I didn’t want. I don’t desire to win the lottery anymore lol. I would wake up hopeless with nothing to do. Granted Trump was in office and quarantines were in effect. That’ll bring anybody down if you let it. I couldn’t tie myself to a cause. I had a thought to create a bubble world to protect young black women after reading a story about a woman being taken advantage of, abused, raped, manipulated, and ultimately that same day. Women aren’t safe enough in the streets. I thought I could round them up and house them. I studied cults to learn what not to do. I learn either way, there’s awlays a lesson. I took note of how most of them started out so great, loving, and caring for another. Like an oasis. I imagined providng for them, praying often as a group, and supporting ourselves through entrepreneurship. The output in my terms of thinking; women being free to learn, think, and enjoy life. Building ownership and self stainment, self-esteem, empowerment etc. I hadn’t firgured out how to factor in babies and partners (fanily) at that point. Success is mostly built on networks and connections. Some of the most successful people have no idea hot to even oerform their own business but they’re obvioulsy smart by putting the best candidates in place to thrive.
I gave up my idea of a great world existnce in the worl, but not of the world. I watched a documentary of a cult that established a city in America with all the right papaerwork etc. They picked a barren land and cropped. They built all of thei dweillngs, mad ehtier clothes, operated businesses etc. Things seemed to be working, except they were a tiny town operating in US state. The neighboring cities hated them and gave them pushback at every turn. These immagrants were from India or something trying to move into a very white part of that state. It was something like a southern state or midwest state where white people have a long history, are prejudiced and not willing to accept any others. Old townfolk who were extremely racist. Just like the KKK, they formed a group and terrorized these peoplke. They destroyed their establishments and deprived the voting power. The cult fought back by sending more people over, to create power and resist the attacks. The poiint is that with even the best intentions, the enemy is somewhere plottinh to make your life hell. The cult was becoming more pwoerful in numbers as well aspolitically and this was a threat to the townfolk. Mental notes, don’t become too big and thgreatening. Keep it sweet and stay small and covert.
When I watched the documentary on Scientoly, it bklew my mind. It was exactly what I wanted in theory. Everyone was protected from the world and self-staining. They were church status so the governmebnt didn’t interfere much. They work together, pray together, travel together, and help each other’s families. They worshipped and grew an enormous instution nationwide. The had millions because they had industry. They manufactured things, sold things, and received tons of donations. They owned properties and institutions. Everything was in-house. It looked like everyone was benefitting from working as a unit. But then, ….things start to unravel. People wantto leave because they want to change their style of life or they’re just not happy being in the cuklt. There were several generations within the cult and loyalty was high. I was always intrigued on how they recruited, how they built loyalty, and how no one ever left. Well the documentary uncovered the evil doings. It took a lot abuse and torture to keep members from “escaping”.
I was working to put the sisterhood in motion but didn’t have any recruits. I didn’t know how to get them and no one was coming to me. The people I told about the idea were pressuring me to get going. Things were setup as far as planning but they were unimpressed. I guessed they’re used to me coming to them already being successful. They told me abput their stories of kids coming to them for help. Eventually I gave it up once I become annoyed with people. Once I thought everything would worl and things wpould be great because it was God’s safety and it’s intentions were driven to help God’s people and worship God only. I thought we would have a structure protected by God and the enemy’s attacks.
God couldn’t even create a paradise without the enemy ruining it. How could I prosper?
Me as a millionairess:
I would have to be a multi millionairess to acquire the property I desire
I would have TRUST OTHERS
I would need security.
People out to scam me
People incessantly begging for money and/or favors
Should I keep my status a secret or stunt
Less true friends and more fake firends
Harder to get in Heaven
Rubbing elbows with other miilionaires who are breaking Commandments left and right
I feel like it’s harder to get into Heaven if you possess riches or things because it’s a huge distraction in trying to bond with God and stay focused on Him. You basically end up worshipping possessions. You end up wanting more or proecting what you covted. You can’t serve two masters. If you’re a multi millionaire or billionaire youstart to seem like a god because you’ve encompassed a usdden possession of “power”. To get those levels, doesn’t rely on God. You’re hurting people, lying, and deceiving others to amass that wealth. I’m still reading but I can’t think of any person who gained wealth and was met with approval by God or didn’t fall distraslouslu.
I can’t think of anything good coming from being wealthy. The things I need help with cannot be purchased. Only God solves those problems. Satan offers shiny things to man. He told Jesus he would give Him power and riches. Jesus said He could easily get that stuff if He only asked. The value of the enemy’s diminishes really quickly. But it’s not so much of getting everything you could ever want, it’s about surrending yourselt to the enemy and him having control of you. Bad idea.
I just wrote about my existence as a teacher and it overwhelmed me. I’ve been an ov er-achiever abd possess a lot of knowledge and intellect. No one around me wantsto learn or could care less. Those students and parents showered me admiratuon that gave me the highest high a person could have. I’m talking being overwhelmed with gratitude. That’s the right high you want to chase. I felt God was pleased and I made many people happy.
These days I am mad with mankind. It’a ultimately due to the enemy. I don’t trust anybody. I don’t believe anyone is worthy of my gifts. I read the news daily and i’m disappointed with peopl’es behavior. Real talk. I felt like people were always trying to take advantage and get something free from me instead of applying themselves. If I know it or can do it, so can you. I’m not sauperhuman. I had to fight and scratch to learn what I know. Stop being lazy and piggybacking. If I help, people run off and compete against me. If I don’t help, i’m selfish and mean. The effing devil SMH.
How can I help people and be rewarded at the same time? Charge them. Make tutorrials and instructional videos. Write books. Offer paid classes. Sounds rich, but…I don’t even feel like doing the legwork and it requires a lot of time working alone especially. I don’t have the urgeness or hungry desire to do it. I could do it, but I wouldn’t enjoy it. I would be using my talents for my own benefit. You can only gain so much in earthly offerings. I’m over it. I’m supposed to be working harder and not smarter these days.
God gave a [platform to share my knowledge and feel great about it. I can’t belive how easy the writing is coming today after having writer’s block many times over. God always puts something on my mind. Most times, I try to write notes to discuss them later. Today’s words weren’t written veforehand. This is real-time information in my heart and mind i’m sharing.
Actually thinking about it, every God-given gift I poseess can be used to help many people. People need to know how to navigate God’s earth. He’s given experiences and tools that can benefit others. I’m discovering how therapy benefits me in this world. It’s mostly clinical stuff but I’ve learned awareness and intuition. I prayed for intuition daily and how to recognize deceivers coming at me. These are things important to me now.
I wanted to help humanity. There was so many issues that I could provide assistance. Where do I start? I want everyone eating. They said school kids starved at home. But that turned into helpiung with shelter so they had a place to eat. That turned into securing jobs to maintain shelter. But that turned into family counseling to ensure the household members living in a healthy envirnmebt. And then I thought, even the governmenbt can’t solve these issues. Why should I try? This is a job for God lol. I didn’t want to do anything that wasn’t going to help people AND make me feel like that i’n that ultimate high that only comes from God. Nothing came to mind. Months have passed and still just the thought of trying remains on my mind. I wasn’t motivated. I wasn’t inspired. Therapists didn’t have the answers.
But I did maintain an interest in studying human behavior and interaction. We have to deal with each other so why not make it as easy as possible.I was trying to be an authority on the mind and actiobs of mankind. I still study some aspect daily. The last therapist couldn’t understad why I was doing so much thinking and no action. She even labled me as a person who has no follow-through. I knew she had no idea of what I was about and how my mind worked, even thought I told her on several occasions. Therapists have one job: LISTEN. I now know what the lesson is in studying mankind. I’mlearning to spot good and evil earlier. I can recognize it more easily. I’ve took note of signs and reactions. It helped to cut off a lot of people and/or adjust how I deal with people. The enemy works hard to keep us mad each other. He accomplishes this in so many ways. I can detect a lot of those ways now.
I say this to say that Ihave learnewd the purpose of my talents now, today. I guess God thinks I have enough wisdom to share and benefit others. I don’t have to be an authority. Most people can only deal with the basics anyway. I can’t help people to understand why people do thr evil that they do in deep technical ways, but I can show them examples. I am an authority on my experiences so there’s my expertise. Ha!
I enjoyed writing this.