Why are you single?
Why are you single? What’s wrong with you? People love to place external pressure on single people just by their line of questioning as if it was the by-product of something wrong within that person. If you’re not careful, over time, you’ll internalize that messaging. Being single can begin to feel like something you’re embarrassed about. something you need to get out of as soon as possible.
“It is good for a man not to touch a woman.”1 Corinthians 7:1
What’s wrong with being single?
Is there something wrong with being single? It’s like people are telling you just to pick somebody already. Take a look around at the people you know who just picked someone because they succumbed to the pressure on an artificial timeline. Are they happy to you? Do you want that to be you?
People whom you’ve just met may ask you why you aren’t married in front of other people. That’s rude and embarrassing. Hence, you’re taken aback because you’re questioning the messaging. What are they implying? You’re accomplished and doing well, therefore you can’t be happy because you don’t have a relationship. People asking those questions are a reflection of those people and not a reflection of you.
“But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am;”1 Corinthins 7:8
Ignore the Noise
Ignore all the noise around you and be okay with whatever your personal journey is. You don’t have to explain it, in addition, you don’t have to defend it, and you don’t have to share it. It is your journey in your personal life and it takes strength.
What are the insinuations of being single?
- Your life isn’t complete until you get into a relationship.
- What’s wrong with YOU because someone hasn’t accepted you?
- Are you someone that somebody else would choose?
Have you ever thought that you’re probably single because you haven’t accepted someone else? Just because you’re single, it doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you. You could be the total package and still be rejected because your package may not fit the person you’re presenting it to. Rejection is a part of life. You have to be able to master how to handle rejection.
Look back at the people who rejected you and their present circumstances or traits you remember about them. Is that really what you would have wanted in your life today? I can look back and say that there were vices and traits that I know I couldn’t accept and would have been miserable had I been with those people. You could probably look back over your life and agree with my same sentiment.
Sometimes when you face rejection, you don’t know the reason for the rejection at that time, but your feelings get hurt. A lot of times rejection has nothing to do with you. It’s what someone else is dealing with and their perspective of what’s going on in their lives. But if we’re not careful, we make it a whole story about us. We tell ourselves we aren’t good enough, we don’t have enough, we’re not smart enough, etc. We tend to let all of these stories we tell ourselves build up in our minds over time as to why we’re not accepted. For this reason, you can’t take rejection so personally in your life because, most often, it isn’t about you.
Therefore, don’t internalize rejection because you may end up changing something about yourself because you think you know the reason that a person rejected you. You adapt to a false belief, that you have made up, and become someone you don’t even recognize and aren’t comfortable being. Consequently, you don’t want to lose yourself trying to placate someone else who probably had no issue with the way you were before and may still end up being rejected based on a reason that has nothing to do with who you are.
Don’t Settle and Don’t Rush
You can have the love that you want in your life. Don’t settle and don’t rush. Don’t mold yourself into someone who you genuinely aren’t. Pray for the things you want to have in terms of self-improvement. Pray for who you want to be a part of your life and for who they will be. Be specific. Sit back and wait for the results as God comes through for you.
“But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried [c]cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord.”1 Corinthians 7:32